wow... ~looks at the post below this...~ so that was a long time ago.  i have thought about making several xanga entries since then, but seeing as how i got on myspace to escape xanga, and now everyone's on myspace, and i didn't have time to make the entries anyway, they didn't happen.

WELL NOW i'm back to xanga.  but just momentarily.  because i thought my xanga might be lonely.  and i think that it was. 

anyway.  just got out of my first class and i'm waiting to go to organic.  yay chemistry!  then later this avo i have life drawing.  went to calc 2 earlier.  on tuesday/thurs i have sculpture and orgo lab.  i'm gonna go to fencing again since i didn't have time to go last semester.  and i've decided that it's been too long and i feel like i'm losing friends by the hour simply because i don't devote enough time to y'all.  i'm sorry about that.  i will try to be better.  i miss everyone...  hopefully i'll be able to keep myself not-busy enough to actually interact with people in a relaxed manner.  that would be pretty awesome.

but i hope everyone's holidays went well and that you've had good starts to the new semester.  peace, love, and joy.

until next time, jules

so... this is really weird.  i'm procrastinating going to sleep because it's only 12:41 am and i've done everything i need to do for tomorrow.  i finished the 50 paintings friday... i got everything i'll need for the tea ceremony (topics course entitled "spirituality east and west" - we're currently learning about buddhism) tomorrow...  i tried to do the prelab for organic with my lab partner but couldn't get ahold of her, so i went ahead and did it anyway...  i planned out my schedule for the next 3 or 4 weeks from the homework listed on my syllabai (sp?) and then got sort of depressed because it feels like it was just august a few days ago and it's almost the end of september...  i unpacked from spending the whole weekend with chad at ben and chiclet's house...  and it's still only 12:47 am.  oh well.  i guess i shouldn't question it when i get to go to sleep before 3 am...

i just feel like i'm forgetting something...

Currently Listening Mer de Noms By A Perfect Circle see related

i think i only post on this thing when i'm sad.  i'm sorry.

so, college goes well.  i have fish.  they started out as five black neon tetras, which means they are clear but have a stripe of black and a stripe of blue neon.  ok.  well the girl accidentally gave me a fish with just red and a tiny bit of black.  so we named that one michael.  cuz he's not really black.  then one of them died and that was sad.  i cleaned their tank and they were much better after that.  i think i didn't have enough anti-chlorine stuff in there.  but yeah.  sooo cleaned their tank and replaced the tetra with a bigger species of tetra that has a black stripe and pink neon above her eyes and on her tail - we named that one janet.  janet is a mean fish.  she keeps food from the other fish and as a result, two more tetras have died.  so now, we only have michael and janet and... tito.  i would just ... kill janet to save the other two fish, but i can't really justify killing one of my fish, even if it means possibly saving the other two.

anyway.  i'm taking 18 hours and working 15 hours and it's... very hard.  especially when i'm also doing fencing.  and making time on the weekends to see chad.

oh!  chad is something that makes me happy.  i'm in the BEST relationship i've ever been in with chad jones (the one that used to be in the chs band whose brother is bryce.  not the other one that also goes to dsu and also plays guitar, lol).  i can't believe how blessed i am that it worked out for us to get together.  one day while we were talking about some important relationship feelings, he prayed to God that He would look over us and become the center of our relationship.  how cool is that?  and i hadn't even voiced that that was something i was looking for.  i was amazed.  there are other things that are amazing, but i could sort of go on and on and i don't think anyone wants to hear them.

where was i?  oh yeah.  time.  well i love all of my classes and my job and fencing and chad, but i feel like i'm burning out fast.  i shouldn't be sitting here posting this.  i should be getting a shower and doing calculus and painting.  oh well.  next week is going to be hell.  i think ... this semester is going to be hell.

actually, on second thought... it's really not that bad, i just can't keep my mind from CONSTANTLY contemplating everything that i have to do.  so it's making me rip myself apart from the inside out.  if anyone wants to ask God for peace for me, that would be much appreciated.  that's another thing that makes me very sad.  i pray to God all the time, but since i've gotten here i haven't had time to study the bible and i feel like that makes me less of a Christian?  if i just keep in contact with him, is that enough?  God, is it enough?

anywho.  i hope all of you in cleveland are doing well.

i'm ready to see my dogs and sister and parents this weekend.  i probably won't have time to hang out.  i'm bringing my painting home - first assignment is 50 paintings.  yes.  50.  due ... i think in 2 weeks.

sorry for the depressive post.  i can't help it right now.  i mean, i guess i could, but there are extraneous circumstances being forced upon me and i feel like i'm too weak to not care...

i love you all.  ~hugs~

so, i've been trying to play world of warcraft, but i've decided that it's pretty much just like a fancy version of guild wars, only you don't have to pay for guild wars.

and i already play ffxi, which pretty much occupies all of the time that i DO get to game, which is only like... every fourth day.  and i'm not even back to school yet.

HOWEVER!  i am really ready to get back to school and see all of my friends and go shopping for the room and start fencing, wind ensemble/orchestra, dance, class, lab, all that stuff!  i miss everyone and i miss memphis.  but i feel like i haven't spent any time this summer with you cleveland ppl.  and that makes me pretty sad.  (even though half of you probably hate me by now... can't handle the truth, i guess.  if you can, call me.  whatev.  the other half still loves me ^_^)  i'll probably be calling some of you to hang out cuz i have next week completely off of work and all i have to do is pack for school, which is pretty much already done cuz i never unpacked.  i miss you guys and i'm sorry that i've been preoccupied with other stuff too much to have already had ample hang out time. 

jenna, i got aim.  GET ONLINE ALREADY!

soooo in other news, i bought davis' mandolin and i'm learning how to play it.  it's pretty cool, though really hard to tune, especially when you're not sure what the heck is going on and don't have a piano that is in tune.

ok, well since i only have an hour until i have to be at work, i'm gonna go call jenna and discuss tv's and stuff.

by the way, to all of you wow likers out there who think ffxi is the crapola, wow and ffxi both take the same amount of time to install.  so there. 

umm... i think you misunderstood my apology.

i was apologizing for coming across as unapproachable.

however, i still MEANT EVERYTHING i said.

thank you.